Three Freaks and a Prep
by Single-Black-Rose
Summary: What happens when four crazy girls from this word find them selves in the world of Eragon? who know it really could be anything! rated for some language and extreme randomnissis.
1. the fall and wanting to rip out throats

I don't own eragon but i do own the rest

* * *

The day was like any other. School was rotting my brain going by like a snail. Of course, it wasn't going to be any other day. I was sitting in math Algebra II GT to be specific. Yes, I'm only of the crazy people who take higher level math courses then they have to. My teacher was drowning on and on about random function. The jock that has a thing for me (he needs his head checked out) hadn't stopped staring at me. I'm starting to worry about the kid's eyes because he hasn't blinked in like ten minutes. My brain was becoming mush, no liquid which is worse than mush by far. 

"Ding" came the sound of sweet relief math was over for the day. We got the homework for that night book work, "Uuggg!!" As I stood to leave, the room started to spin and my head started to feel like a million daggers were being stabbed into my brain. No migraine that I've ever had was that bad. I thought I was going to puke I could barely stand, and then it all went black……………….

"**Colleen**!!!!!" I heard a familiar scream. Katie was here, but where was that. I opened my eyes to the sight of very tall Mts. all around. I was lying in a small field by a river.

Water good me want water, ran though my head. The only problem was that Katie was about to tackle me to see if I was still living. Right before she jumped on me, I backwards rolled to a standing, lyrical dance really comes in handy when faced with crazed mass hallucinations.

"Hello Katie," I stated blinking as she started to shimmer in the sunlight. God where was my sunscreen when you needed it, being part vampire was hard enough without the sun burning holes though you skin. Then I noticed that Katie was not their any more in her place stood a color changing baby dragon.

"O my god" I squealed as I picked her up and hugged her.

"Colleen I'm a dragon," came Katie's voice from the little creature.

"I can see that, but pick a color before you give me a migraine." I paused looking around, "where do you think we are?"

"I don't know but not in Kansas" Katie giggled. At that point I decided that the sun was to hot and moved in to the shade of a near by grove of trees

"Where are we going?" Katie asked.

"Shade"

"O your vampiritic skin can't handle the sun"

"Burns are very painful and make vampires very very very irritable." I jogged the rest of the way to the tree line carrying Katie all the way

"You know I can walk" Katie said breaking the silence, "and by the way my wing is falling asleep."

"Sorry," I mumbled setting her down in the grass.

"I wonder what it would be like to be a horse." I asked aloud. Katie gasped at me for I had magikly turned in to a horse. I studied my self for a while turning into other creatures as well. Before long, I heard Katie grunt snapping me out of myself. I was a fox at this time if it matters

"Damn I can only turn in to a dragon," she yelled now in human form

"Well stay one," came another voice that was unmistakable. We both turned to see Fay walking towards us

"**FAY**," Katie screamed. She ran towards are friend and in the process changed back into the baby dragon form that was her only other form. Fay scoped Katie up and proceeded to make baby noises at her.

"Your so cute yes you are yes you are," Fay babbled at her more was exchanged but I missed it for my fear of the sun. Katie led Fay back to my place in the grove of trees. By that time I had climbed a tree and was about to fall asleep.

"Colleen get you ass down here and help use find out where we are" Fay yelled up to me.

"Fine," I mumbled rolling down from my perch. "Where to, _mistress_?"

"Well first you should find us some food," Katie started I hissed at her before looking up to find a great white dragon behind them looking rather eager.

"Um… guys you might want to stay still maybe it won't eat us" I staggered before remembering that I could shape shift in this world.

The dragon blinked and looked confused. Fay turned to it and stared at it for a while before running to give the dragon a hug.

"Hey," Katie yelled

"Sorry Katie you've bin replaced," I joked, scoping her up in to my arms, and running out to protect Fay from the white dragon. "Don't you dare eat my friend dragon or you'll have a very pissed off vampire to deal with!!!"

"What is this vampire you speak of," the dragon said inside my head. "Also why would I eat my rider when you look much tastier?

"Me, that is what" I stated "wait… what… Rider… confused much?"

"Let me handle this Avaibane." Fay stated to the dragon calmly. "You see guys Avaibane has bin look for me for some time now she was told in a dream to find a girl holding a baby dragon so when she saw me she knew that I was the one her rider"

"OK that great," I interrupted. "So Fay do you also happen to know where the hell we are because that the only question that I care to have answered right now!"

"God whats got you into a funk," Fay grumbled

"I'm a vampire being turned in to a lobster" I countered. "Can we more this in to the shade before my skin starts to fall off?"

"Of course we can" Katie stated before flying off to the little grove of trees. As Katie neared the grove, I spotted a figure at the other side of the grove. At the super human speed of a vampire, I decided to get the answers from the figure. As I near it, I found that it was another one of my friends, fellow vampire, and Fay's twin sister Beth. "BETH!" I yelled tackling her, "you'll never guess what just happened!"

"COLLEEN GET OFF ME BEFORE I RIP YOUR THROUT OUT!" Beth yelled, pushing me off her. The sun must be getting to her to. As we stood up Fay and Katie caught up with us.

"So Fay where did you say we are again?" I asked suddenly in a better mood because a found that part of the river was shaded from the sun.

"Alagaesia! in the middle of the beor mts. near Farthen Dur"

"Well there is only one place to go now' i state

"Farthen Dur" Beth whispers.

* * *

i know it was a little short but hey review and i'll wright more quicker thanks loves!!!! 


	2. Entering and Breaking

secod chapter wooot Have fun my duckies!!!

big thanks to Elavanya for remembering to get me the password cough sugar-high pixie cough cough

i do not own Eragon

* * *

Before we headed off, I spotted my school bag I ran over to see what was in it. 

"WHOOO," I screamed finding that I had indeed packed the most magikal of all elixirs: sunscreen. What is so magical about sunscreen; well guess what, it prevents sunburn which causes everyone to age, do I have to go on. Having two vampires in the group just made things like that much worse. I put some one before handing the tube to Beth who took it and did the same. I emptied my bag of the thing I didn't need, mostly the books for the stupid classes that I didn't care about. We turned around and head back to the rest of the group. I did however keep pens, ink, and my notebook for stories because you never know when you'll get a good idea.

"Why are you taking your bag?" Fay asked as we started to walk on down the valley.

"I keep all my stuff I can't go with out in here," I said matter-of-factly. "Anyway there is still enough room for Katie in here showing her how empty it was.

"Well what do you expect form an ex-girl scout," Katie yelled as she fit herself into my bag.

"True," was all Fay grunted back. We walked on for some time in awe of just how big the Beor Mountains were after a while it hit Beth that we need a password to get in to the Farthen Dur but her mind was to soon taken over with the thoughts of a shiny for her dragon horde; which she immediately went to collect, t tell everyone else

"Beth that's not worth it you know that you're not going to get it out of the ground," Fay told her sister as Beth pulled the rock from the ground.

"Let her have it," Colleen yelled. "Beth I'm not carrying it for you, Katie weighs a ton!"

"Hey are you calling me fat"

"No I'm just not used to walking this far"

"Do you want me to carry the bag for you?" came Avaibane voice in my mind.

"Yes that would be lovely."

We traveled on talking about what all teenage girl talk about: boys, book, how fat we think we are, well you get my drift. The topic or discussion had shifted to questioning Avaibane about the Mts. and the rest of the world (we found out that we could all talk telepathically) when colleen realized that we needed the password to get in to Farthen Dur.

"So how are we going to get the password we don't have a copy of Eragon with us," Katie asked in dismay.

"Don't lose faith yet," colleen said mentally asking Avaibane for her bag. "Jackpot!!" She yelled pulling out an old battered copy of the book.

"Well this better work because were here," Beth stated, pointing to the waterfall at the other end of the lake. We walked across the side of the lake to the waterfall.

"I hope this works," Fay yelled over the roar of the waterfall before both she and colleen scream the password, "Ai varden abr du Shur'tugalar gata vanta!" " The wall around them opened and they found themselves being dragged into a room. They looked up to see armed guard near all the exits.

"Do you think we can take them" Colleen whispered to Fay.

"Not without weapons we'll be torn to shreds and facing the twins will be much easier." Fay whispered back. We waited a while longer for the bald twins to come eager to get some pay back for what they would come to do.

"Who are you and how did you come by a dragon," the twins hissed they seamed to do a lot of that colleen noted.

"We are the three freaks and a prep, which have come to help the Varden rid the land of Galbatorix and his menses," Katie yelled. The twins bought that answer and told us about the mind search. We all mentally laughed at them.

"I'll go first," said Fay a little too eager as to begin what the twin said would be long and painful but then again she was the dragon rider and only fit to be the first one.

"Excellent," one of them hissed as he went forward to examine her mind. The contact was made but lasted only a few second before the twin started to contort in pain. He then lost his cool and ran away screaming. The girls started to giggle but a glare from the remaining twin, who by that time had started on Katie's mind, silenced them. It's taking this one a long time to finish with me, Katie thought as the twin's probe hit another sensitive memory which he lingered one causing pain to worsen. Colleen's low rumbling growl came as a warning but the twin ignored it. She was the only one to have to go through this she knew for Fay had caused hers to run away screaming and colleens and Beth's minds were worse.

"Well I'm done with you," the twin spat in an overly slimy voice. He was happy to be out of the girl's mind it was a disturbing place full of unfamiliar sights and sound, he didn't want to dwell there. The other one entered the room sweaty and panting from his crazed run.

"Who's next?"

The next can't be as bad as the first, someone hissed in his mind: or can it?

The first twin started to examine Beth but a second into it he fell to the floor in a dead faint. The second twin fate was better or worse depending on viewpoint.

Barely touching colleen's mind sent the second in to spasms in which he yelled something like "there to be trusted" before plunging into a corner. The girls laughed at the sight of the twin sitting in a corner rocking back and forth muttering gibberish. They left the room telling the guards to not worry about the twins they would be ok in a few hours.

"So what should we do now?"

"Well first we explore then," colleen began. "And then we plan our next diabolical arrangement to make the twin pay!"

* * *

well tis is where i leave you hoped you like it so far so please reveiw

* * *


	3. Aljihad, the dragon hold, and planning

guess what i'm back!! with more and i hope you like it

i don't own eragon

* * *

"HI PEOPLE," Katie yelled at some young children passing us as we explored Farthen Dur. They shied away from us as children always do from strangers.

"Katie," Colleen hissed we don't want to draw to much unwanted attention. SMACK! She ran face first in to Ajihad the leader of the Varden before hitting the ground with a thump.

"Hey watch where you're going," Colleen growled jumping to her feet.

"Yes well I am going to meet the draa…" Ajihad trailed off as he spotted Avaibane, before quickly changing the statement to "you all."

"Who are you?" asked Beth, who had momentarily forgotten what was going on.

"I am Ajihad the leader of the Varden, welcome to Tronjheim" he answered in a deep commanding voice that a leader should have.

"I know that," Beth snorted. "And I know that your going to" she was not able to finish the statement for Fay had knocked her down

"I'm going to what"

"You're going to have chicken tonight for dinner was what she meant to say" Katie put in quickly sticking her head out of colleen's bag for the first time since they had ran in to Ajihad.

"It can talk!" Ajihad exclaimed

"Ya, all dragons can talk most only to their riders but Katie is special," Fay told him

"I'm not really a dragon," Katie finished for her as she jumped out of Colleen's bag and shifted in to her real form. If Ajihad was surprised by this, he didn't show it. "We don't stay put for long but that's not important right now."

"Right now is what we need you to do for us" Colleen added.

"And what would that be?"

"Huaum," Colleen started. "How about a tour guide, a hot meal, a long bath, a good place to sleep, the weapon/weapons of choice for each of us and a… a very large amount of books"

"Ok will you fight for the Varden?"

"Sure we have nothing better to do"

"King Hrothgar will want to meet you soon so be ready if he calls for you"

"Cool

"Good will the quarters of the riders good enough for all of you?"

"Yes"

"Just one question, why the book"

"Bibliophile"

"Then Melsinnia will show you to the caves, and she will be your guide till you are more familiar with the city." A young girl stepped out of the hall behind him and gestured for us to follow.

Ajihad watched as the girls and dragon disappear down to hall towards the dragon quarters and and wondered how such weak looking girls had practically destroyed the twins. They were not to be underestimated but could they be trusted fully. Ajihad wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer but at this point, but they were the only hope against the empire that had taken his wife. He turned at the sound of his name he could spend no more time thinking he had other matter to attend to…

The girls walked behind Melsinnia on the way to Isidar Mithrim and Vol Turin. Melsinnia stopped and turned as they reached the base of the stair case. She was pleased to see the all the girls were in awe of the star sapphire they were the type to get in to trouble and she hated trouble. Her fears were conformed when Beth shouted

"SHINNIE!!!! ME TAKE FOR DRAGON HORDE"

"Beth you won't be able to carry it," Fay answered her calmly

"Yes I will," this went on for some time before colleen turned to Melsinnia and told her.

"Mel you can go for today just ask for some food to be sent up to us we can make it the rest of the way and come back tomorrow we'll need you till then."

"Ok" she said turning on her heel already not liking them being seen with them it would not do her any good with the warriors.

"But shine," Beth wined

"Come on lets check out our new home" colleen yelled shifting in to a raven and flying up to the top Beth followed suit turning into an eagle and Fay and Katie got a ride on Avaibane. By the time, Avaibane landed Beth and Colleen had already climbed the rungs and they were checking out the caves.

"OOO this one is big but I want one higher up," colleen yelled to Beth as she climbed out of a cave in the middle of the cliff. Beth settled for the one colleen had just left and Colleen took one a little smaller higher up.

"I want one near the ground thank very much," Katie grumbled as she crawled to a small one near the bottom.

"What size do you want Avaibane," Fay asked her dragon

"I'll find one I like don't worry," the dragon said as she took off to search of a cave.

"Hey Fay, Katie, come check this out," Beth yelled out from colleen's cave

"Coming," she yelled back she scaled the rungs with ease. She thought she had become more athletic but why she would think on that later.

"Guess what," Colleen said happily, as Fay reached her cave.

"What"

Guess"

"You found the cure for cancer?"

"No but my bag can transport things from our world to this." Colleen said pulling out a portable DVD player and some candy. The four of them watched the princess bride until they herd someone yell

"HELLO!"

"Yes," Colleen yelled sticking her head out of the cavern.

"I was to bring food to the dragon hold."

"Good, good we'll come down to get it so you can leave"

"How are we to bring the food up here to the dragon hold?"

"We don't we eat down there," colleen said before jumping down to the level the man just came from. He had now full left yet and turned to see Colleen standing up.

"Whaa…how" he staggered wondering how she survived the fall from the cavern that she was standing in.

"I'm a vampire," she stated calmly. "Hiss… Hiss." He ran at this. "Let us eat."

"So now what do we do," Katie asked as they ate the food provided for them.

"Well I think we should find out just how much this world is affecting us" Colleen answered taking a bite out of a carrot.

"True why we can shape shift and what Fay can do," Beth added

"We shape shift because we're vampires Beth but we don't know why Katie does or what Fay can do if any."

"Hey what does that mean," Fay yelled throwing a bone at Colleen's head

"She may be a warrior," Katie piped in as her skin turned a very bright pink.

"Maybe, then we should hit the practice field to see what we can do and any other powers we might have," Colleen stated before adding "when we feel like it but before we get rid of mel she seamed like the type I want to see squirm."

"We shouldn't hurt her," Beth added "unless she's annoying then we should."

"We should get to know her better first," Katie added "if she turns out to be a jerk then she better watch out"

"But you know who should defiantly watch out," Fay smirked

"The twins" they all stated together.

"Know what we should do," Colleen asked grinning wide.

"Yes"

"We should make their worst fears reality." They all grinned at that. "This won't be easy but it will be worth it in the end. They stayed up late in to the night planning how to find out more about the twins before deciding to wait for a little bit to get the twins and everyone else's trust before trying anything drastic. They all went to the cave they had picked when they were do but Beth who went with Colleen to get a book to read her insomnia was not going to let her sleep with this much on her mind. _Blood,_ a simple thought came to her mind: _she needed blood and soon but where from_ she thought, climbing down the ruins. _O well, _she sighed tomorrow. She settled down with an old copy of _The Black Gryphon _Colleen had pulled out of her bag. Beth wanted another book but the bag had produced this book instead. She would have to deal with it due to the fact that Colleen couldn't get the bag to bring it. Then again, she had never seen the book so couldn't have known what it looked like and only she seamed to be able to use the bag it must have loyalty issues. _O well_ Beth though again at least the book is good, so far.

Fay on the other hand did not have any sleep troubles like her twin. In fact, she dropped of to sleep quickly and without trouble, her last thought being about what they would do to the twins when they got the chance. She dreamed that night about battle to come.

Katie went to her bed and dropped to sleep immediately; falling in to a dream about waffles chasing her and blood lots of blood Beth and Colleen could not drink that much blood in a hundred years.

Colleen one the other hand didn't sleep either she was to busy finishing her anthro essay on the Celtic knot. It took her most of the night. It was a good essay and she was proud of it. When she finished she tucked it in to her writing book to keep it safe before drifting off to sleep near dawn.

* * *

well here i leave you everyone is asleep so what will happen next tuin in next time for our first meeting with Eragon!!

please review

* * *


	4. Blood Breakfast and Eragon

well heres part four hope you like blood!

I don't own eragon i wish i did but i don't

* * *

"Hey Beth want breakfast?" Colleen yelled poking her head in to Beth's cave

"BLOOOOOOD," Beth yelled hypnotically running toward her head.

"We have lots of that to," Colleen snorted amused by Beth vacant looks before she tripped over something. "I would have got a convict by I could only get sum blood bags." Colleen told her as she headed back toward her cave Beth followed her up when she got their Fay and Katie were already eating and Colleen was getting a bag of what looked like blood. Bloooodd Beth thought mmmmmmmm me like blood, me have blood. She then tried to snatch the bag from Colleen who successfully evaded her.

"If you want blood that bad just ask," Katie yelled taking a bite from a sausage.

"Blood," Beth squeaked barley containing the blood lust that rage inside her

"Good enough for me," colleen shrugged throwing her the bag. "I can get more."

"Blood!" Beth squeaked catching the bag and immediately gulping the contents down "mmmmm buloooood!"

"Colleen get me more pancakes," Fay yelled trying to hand Colleen her plate.

"Get them yourself they're only five feet away," colleen snapped sitting down to her food and bag of blood.

"Fine"

"What is going on up here" Avaibane asked sticking his head in and nuzzling Fay's back.

"Are you hungry Bane," Fay asked as the white dragon tried to fit his girth in to the cave that was a tiny bit to small. I was quite humorous to watch him crouch and find a comfortable place.

"_I am fine_," Bane finally answered curling around Fay before spotting the sausage that Katie was eating. "_What is that_," Bane asked giving her a weird look."

"Sausage, want some"

"_Sure_"

"Ok," Colleen said giving her some as she sat down next to Fay. "Do these look like hives to you?" she thrust her arm at Fay, who studied it for a while before announcing that they were indeed hives.

"_Holy shit how can you eat this?_" Bane coughed, spitting up the sausage and some fire along with it.

"Good job bane," Beth laughed. Bane only snorted and snuggled his head into Fay

"I've bin thinking" Colleen said changing the subject

"Wait you bin thinking," Fay snorted "you should in think your brain cant handle it"

"Well I'll take my chances," Colleen countered "any ways how do you think that Beth, Katie, and I can shape shift and you became a dragon rider"

"What going on?" Beth asked paying attention for the first time.

"So you want to know how we got the powers that we got," Fay answered ignoring her triplet.

"Sure we'll go with that

"We got them when we were sent here," Katie piped in hopefully.

"Yea," Beth said agreeing sucking another blood bag down.

"Not 'when'," Colleen sighed "'How' and 'why'"

"Oooo," Katie sighed "do you have any more bacon"

"In the pan," colleen started "my theory is the shift from our world to this world magnified parts of us giving us the powers that we have."

"So which parts did it intese" Fay started, "intans…intenafey…? MAKE STRONGER!!!!"

"Well the easiest was Katie hers was the cuteness," Colleen started, "that why she can turn in to a baby dragon I haven't figured out the rest yet"

"Well Beth and you should have something to do with your vampiritic natures" Fay started elaborating on what Colleen had just said.

"AND YOU'RE A WARRIOR" Beth yelled thinking how brilliant the suggestion was.

"Maybe," Colleen started not sure how to take it from there "I think you are right, Fay, vampire do shape shift and the shift here probably caused us to change in to more things them normal, but what about you how did you become a dragon rider"

"WARRIOR" Beth yelled

"OK," Colleen and Fay yelled in unison.

"We have her vote," colleen grumbled.

"We need to see the rest of the city," Katie announced.

"Good idea," colleen agreed picking herself of the floor, "we can test out Beth's theory later.

"So now all we need is whats her face and we'll get going," Beth said standing up and walking to the mouth of the cave, "come on guys lets go." She yelled back before jumping out of the cave.

"Yes let's see what our new home looks like," Colleen smiled, following her.

"Let go!!" Katie yelled jumping out the cave after them.

_"Ok how am I supposed to get out of here," _Bane asked.

Fay laughed picking up on her friends' good mood and bane's unnecessary concern. "Let's go." She said helping bane turn around and get out of the cave. They flew down to where the other were waiting

"So how do we call the guide?" Katie asked

"Don't know," Beth shrugged still planning how to steel the star sapphire.

"We'll ask the next person that comes up the staircase," Fay said firmly walking over to it. They didn't have to wait long for Melsinnia strode up the stair case only a few minutes later.

"We want the grand tour," Fay announced for the group.

"That is what I am here for," Melsinnia answered calmly inclining her head to them "I am glad to see you and your friends are up Argetlam it is nearly noon."

"Yes," Fay answered hiding her unmarked hands.

"So where to first," Katie shouted still in a bad mood.

"The staircase is first," Melsinnia started proudly."

"Hold on I need a notebook," Colleen yelled running back to her cave.

"She'll be back," Fay said covering for the astonished look on the girls face, "what was your name again?"

"Melsinnia"

"Ok Mel lets start the tour," Colleen said coming back from her cave notebook and pen in hand. "Directions" was all see said when everyone gave her a funny look

"Melsinnia"

"Ok mel," where do we start," Beth asked.

"Here," Melsinnia spat she was starting to hate the girls they were all any one could talk about being new to the city and all especially the one being a dragon rider. "The never ending stair case connects the entire city,"

Bla bla bla was all Beth herd from the tour Mel made the entire thing boring and half of it was about her, she annoyed Beth being so vain. She could see the Fay, Bane, Katie, and Colleen were thinking along the same lines.

"So where are the training ground," Fay asked seeing just how girly Mel was.

"You want to go there to see the men train?" Mel asked starting to like the girls.

"Actually we want to train our selves," Colleen snorted. "We are not all that boy obsessed"

"Argetlam, Ajihad, Demands your presents at once.

"Cool we are coming to," Katie yelled

"Wouldn't have it any other way," Fay smiled grateful to get away from Melsinnia.

"You're dismissed Mel," Colleen said smiling and waving at her. When they got out of ear shot, she grumbled, "Forever if we're lucky."

"HAHAHAHAHAH" they all laughed before falling silent in awe of the dwarvin masterwork. Soon they came to the great doors that guarded Ajihad's Study better then the guards that stood watch over them.

"The other dragon rider and her friends," the guide announced as the door opened.

"Hey I'm 'THE' dragon rider," Fay yelled, before spotting Eragon and pointing to him yelling "he's the 'OTHER' one." Eragon, Murtag, and Saphira stared at bane in astonishment.

"Another dragon Rider?" Eragon yelled astonishment jumping up

"Yes and a pair of vampires and the cutest thing ever," Colleen answered taking the seat that he just vacated turning in to a cat.

"Hey" Eragon yelled, "that's my chair"

"You got out of it," Colleen, Beth, and Katie yelled as the two of them joined her in the chair; Beth turning in to a bat and hanging off the back.

"We need more chairs Murtag," stated calmly get up and offering his to Fay who thanked him politely and sat down. Bane came and curled around the chair in the same fashion that Saphira had done around Eragon's old one.

"Well we should start with the introductions while we wait for chairs," Ajihad stated calmly taking back everyone's attention. "Fay, Colleen, Beth, Katie, these are Eragon and Murtagh and Saphira," Ajihad stated pointing to the Boys in turn. "Eragon, Murtagh, these are Fay Katie Colleen and Beth and Avaibane." He said pointing to them too. Colleen, Beth, and Katie were back in there human forms standing next to Eragon.

"How do you do," Colleen asked holding out his hand. Eragon just stared at it with a blank look on his face.

What strange names these girls have Murtagh thought. Before piping in, "a pleasure to meet all of you"

"Yea" Beth stated dreamily staring at him. He stared back at her annoyed.

"Well now that we all know each other," what do you need Ajihad," Fay asked.

"From you nothing at this time," Ajihad answered, "just that you are all careful, and Murtagh will you submit to the test it will make life for all of us easier."

"No," Murtagh answered, "Never."

"Ok you will have to be locked in a cell then," Ajihad stated calmly if a bit sad. He yelled for the guard to take Murtagh away. He let them lead him away without struggle. "I need to know your history all of your history. Especially you girls I have heard some of it but I want to hear it from you. Eragon started out with his tale recount everything that had happened to him since leaving Carvahall. Fay, Colleen, Beth and Katie then made up a story about them selves that was a little more plausible then the true but not by much. Ajihad then went on to talk about Arya which none of the girls cared about but they pretended to listen out of respect for Ajihad. He then dismissed them.

"Hey Ajihad," Colleen piped up before they left.

"Yes"

"Can we have a new tour guide Mel might die if she is seen with us again"

"Yes, Orik will take all of you to see the might of this city." He said before going back to what he was doing they walked out of the door to see the twins and Orik standing out side. The twin promptly walked in to the study and closed the door

"I don't like them," Katie said after the door closed.

"I don't think anyone does," Eragon snorted.

"Not even their mom," Fay continued. They all laughed at that knowing they would be friends sort of.

"Orik am I'm sorry that you must guide us around the city," Eragon stated suddenly unhappy.

"Ajihad has given me what I have wanted," the dwarf stated.

"Ajihad doesn't hold all the power here Hrothgar does," Colleen said explaining at Eragon and Saphira's startled looks.

"Oooo," Eragon said still confused

He can still do what he wants under Hrothgar's rule, Saphira thought to him.

"Well is there any place you all want to see" Orik asked them.

"Food," Beth squeaked.

"Yes food would be good," Eragon thought suddenly aware of how hungry he was.

"e will get you all something to eat while dragons get settled in,' Orik said to this. Both of the dragons hissed.

"His name is Avaibane" Fay growled.

"It's Saphira," Eragon said quickly not sure what to think about Fay's reaction.

"Yes of course my apologies to the both of you, I will not forget that again," Orik stated bowing to each in turn.

"Bane is already settled in but he will help Saphira settle in" Fay stated.

"Yes," Orik grinned "would you like to eat now."

* * *

well it's almost 3 in the morning so i'm going to end here review please 


	5. acting and the backstory

well here's chap 5 hope you like it

must say thanks to the people who review Sugar-high pixie, spottedstar106, and Elevanya love you guys:)

i don't own Eragon i would be here if i did

* * *

Melsinnia POV 

Mel watch as the girls walked towards Ajihad office know that he would call her soon. _But first, _she thought_ Nasuada will be interested in getting to know a little more about Farthen Dur's newest arrivals. ._ the acting had payed off they thought she was a girlly girl were they in for a suprise the next time they met up. She ran to go find her friend to tell her to be careful around the four at the archery practice she was already 20 minutes late for. She picked out her skirts to run outside for she was always eager to shoot out her anger. Five minutes later she was on the practice field next to Nasuada bow in hand ready to outshoot her latest completer a dark haired lad better suited for the sword but men will be men and she was not about to lose to one.

OUR POV

"What time is it," Katie complained as we walked away from Ajihad study.

"Let me check my internal clock," Colleen answered, "**wait it doesn't work worth SHIT." **

"She can't tell time," Fay stated quickly covering for he friend so that Eragon and Orik didn't think she was too weird.

"It after dark," Eragon commented looking up.

"Yes but what time is it after dark," Katie complained again.

"AFTER DARK THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW," Beth shouted annoyed that Katie thought about time that much. That shut Katie up for that subject; Beth's teeth were starting to gain points. Just then, a mood struck Fay and she started to sing and was soon joined by Colleen, Katie, and Beth…

"Mama

Thinks I'm living in a convent,  
A secluded little convent  
In the southern part of France.

Mama  
Doesn't even have an inkling  
That I'm working in a Nightclub  
In a pair of Lacy pants.  
So please, sir.  
If you run into my Mama,  
Don't reveal my indiscretion,  
Give a working girl a chance.

Hush up,  
Don't tell Mama,  
Shush up,  
Don't tell Mama...  
Don't tell Mama,  
Whatever you do.  
If you had a secret,  
You bet I would keep it.  
I would never tell on you.  
I'm breaking every promise  
That I gave her,  
So won't you kindly do a girl  
A great big favor?  
And please, my sweet patater,  
Keep this from the Mater,  
Though my dance  
Is not against the law.

You can tell my Papa, that's all right,  
'Cause he comes in here every night,  
But don't tell Mama what you saw!

Mama  
Thinks I'm on a tour of Europe,  
With a couple of my school chums  
And a lady chaperone.  
Mama  
Doesn't even have an inkling  
That I left them all in Antwerp  
And I'm touring on my own.  
So please, Sir  
If you run into my Mama  
Don't reveal my indiscretion.  
Just leave well enough alone.  
Hush up,  
Don't tell Mama.  
Shush up,  
Don't tell Mama;  
Don't tell Mama  
Whatever you do.  
If you had a secret,  
You bet I would keep it.  
I would never tell on you.  
You wouldn't want to get me  
In a pickle,  
And have her go and cut me off  
Without a nickel.  
So let's trust one another,  
Keep this from my mother,  
Though I'm still as pure as mountain snow.  
You can tell my Uncle  
Here and now  
'Cause he's my agent anyhow,  
But don't tell Mama what you know.  
You can tell my brother,  
That ain't grim  
'Cause if her squeals on me  
I'll squeal on him,  
But don't tell Mama, bitte  
Don't tell Mama, please, Sir.  
Don't tell Mama, what you know.  
Sssh!  
Sssh!  
If you see my, Mummy,  
Mum's the word!

As they finished they all burst in to laughter at the looks on Eragon and Orik's face.

"We're freaks," what do you expect Beth squeaked and they all bowed to the guys.

"Well," Orik started, "the bath house is through those doors."

"Thanks Orik" colleen said over her sholder as she and the girls entered.\

"i think i'll wait till they're done," Eragon stated

"Good idea"

Ajihad's POV

Ajihad sighed watching the twins leave the room it had bin a long day getting everything put in there places . He knew that the twins were hiding something but what. With the two of them, it could be any thing. He knew that many things were clear with those two, lust for power being one; and doing anything to get it. He also had to stop telling them as much as he had for someone had given him a most disturbing letter a letter that would have had any other pair hung, the man in charge of fishing out spies of the empire suspected the two of just that but what to do. But could the girls really be as strong as he hoped. They were Eragon and Fay had to have talent at it but that was from the dragons. What of the other three, did they have the gift? All three could shape shift to some degree so he had to have them test along with Eragon to se just how far their talent and training if any goes and they had could be used. He would have to have Arya test them with it, when she got better, for the twins flat out refused doing it mumbling something about not wanting any thing to do with there mind again. But what of their back story could they really be trusted the story was quite unlikely. Can they really be from across the sea in a colony of dragons and humans that could shape shift? That they really were sent, by their leader, to help the Varden destroy the empire crossing he sea as sea life fishing for meals and the like. By the sounds of it, they timed it to get here the same time as Eragon making him very important in their eyes as well. He sat back thinking how interesting the next few day were going to be. Before some one else ran in with some new problem that just couldn't wait.

* * *

well that all for now i'm working on getting some new stories out so it might be a whille till i write any more or maybe not you never know hope you like it please reveiw!!

the song is "don't tell mama" from caberat i don't own it eather


	6. the dress

ok i"m back with the next installment of this wonderfull fic which i still have lots of ideas for and will probly write more soon anyways 

i dont own eragon not a word of it but i do own this story so deal:)

* * *

Chapter 6 

"Hey Fay" Katie asked as they soaked in the bath house, "where did you come up with the amazing back story"

"You liked it?" Fay asked smiling.

"Yea"

"It's more believable then ours and quite amusing," colleen piped in wrapping her self in a towel as she dried form her soak in the one person tubs in the misty room.

"Well actually I barrowed it from Bane it's his story"

"Cool"

"Well not really," Fay started, "even though there is a dragon colony across the sea it probably won't come to our aid. Bane was an outcast he didn't really fit in over there and that part of the reason why his elders sent him to find me."

"So how old is Bane?" Colleen asked

"4 frost thaws which is about five"

"Cool"

"So how do you think we got here?" Katie asked

"No idea"

"I don't know either but Eragon important to them," Beth asked not really sure what she was saying.

"Not really he's just a coincidence."

"Ok cool"

"I think we should go see what Eragon and Orik are up to before they think we drowned," Colleen started and she finished getting dressed in the shirt and breaches that were sitting in one of the piles in the outer room.

"We need to plan our first prank on the twins," Beth stated as she walked out of the bathing room and started dressing before thinking better of it and just walking out of the room in the black and silver bikini she was all ready wearing. Eragon and Orik were stunted and horrified at the sight of Beth's scantily clad body. Beth only looked confused.

"What"

The two of them just stared slack jawed.

"We can't do that it was already done" Katie yelled and incase you wanted to know she was wearing a cute sun dress in the brightest pink that they have ever come up with enough ruffles on the bottom to kill a space alien from the planet Geldomort in the Orion's belt quadrant, and was so short that it bare her knees it also had darker pink flowers on it, when Colleen, who was wearing a Blood red sword's men shirt and black breaches with riding boots, Fay, who had and a yellow bodice top with dark brown breaches and riding boot, and herself came out of the bath house breaking the silence between Beth and the guys.

"When was it done," Fay demanded

"And by who," Colleen finished

"I don't know it's just not a good idea,"

"No it's a great idea"  
"it's bad"  
"it's Good"

"IT'S _BAD_"

"IT IS GOOOOD"

"**IT IS BAD"**

"What are we talking about," Beth piped in quietly confused by the yelling.

"We'll tell you later," Colleen told her.

"Beth," Katie started

"What"

"Well"

"What

"Do you remember what I told you about wearing a bikini in public while in a primitive society?

"Nooooo"

"**YOU CAN'T WEAR JUST A BIKINI DO YOU **_**WANT**_** THE PEOPLE HERE TO ****STONE**** YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!?" **Katie yelled at her friend. Beth thought on this being pelted with shinne rocks and pebbles was not the way she planned to die; it didn't involve fire for crying aloud, so she went skipping back to the bath house to put some more clothes on.

"Well," said colleen to break the silence. "Eragon it's your turn, don't take all day"

"You did," he grumbled walking in. the girls ignored the last comment and went on to other things.

"Board" colleen groaned sliding down the wall

"FOOD" Katie moaned sliding down next to her

"Freedom" Fay yelled as she fell dramatically on to her friends laps. Why was Eragon taking so long? They all wanted to go in there and drag him out.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Beth screamed, now wearing a fitted black swordsman shirt and turquoise breaches with black boots but this is off topic. Anyways, Beth continued to scream for she was not board, or hungry, or wanting freedom, but terrified of the thoughts inside her head. She started to run in a circle trying to rid herself of it.

"Beth" Fay yelled trying to get her twin's attention it didn't work so she hit Beth over the head. This horrified Orik still wasn't sure what to think of the girls except Fay: who was now considered crazy in his book.

Colleen who had just come back from a particularly interesting day dream was the only one to notice the look on his face. "It's ok Fay would never hurt Beth,"

"Ok what ever you say," Orik grunted still uneasy about the four.

"Beth it's ok the pink bunnies of doom and hate are not after you," Fay told her now awake sister. Beth still was not convinced

"They don't even know you're here," Katie piped in.

"Are you sure," Beth Questioned?

"Positive they can't even get to this place."

"Really"

"Sure"

"Hey guys" said Fay changing the subject "I have an idea to prank Eragon."

"What" the other three piped in.

"Come closer" Fay said and the other crowed around her. The only thing that Orik could hear was muffled mumbles before Katie dashed back in to the bath house.

"What are you doing," he asked.

"Nothing"

"You'll see" came the replies from the girls.

Orik wasn't sure he wanted to know when Katie came back wearing pair of way to lose pink breaches and green shirt to match the other girl's, instead of her pink frilly dress that she was wearing when she went in.

"Do these pants make my butt look to big?" Katie asked turn around and sticking out rear.

"Not as big as mine," colleen countered sticking her own out.

"I hate you"

"I know"

"Holy shit what the hell is this," Eragon screamed from the bathhouse

"Your clothing unless you plan to go in the nude," Fay yelled back.

"Are you sure"

"Yes"

"Ok" Eragon was silent for a moment before coming out in the dress that Katie had worn. Katie wore it much better then Eragon who it looked like an idiot in it which was exactly what he felt like at that moment. The girl and Orik fell over laughing.

"What I can't pull off a dress now" Eragon asked.

"No"

"So what am I going to wear?"

"I think the dress looks go on you," Colleen started

"If you like a drag queen," Fay continued.

"you maen a really bad one who can't find the right size clothing," Beth finished which sent the girl into another fit of laugher.

"Let's just go get dinner I'm hungry," Eragon sighed knowing the girls would never let him live this down and he was sad because they were all really pretty.

"Yes we should before the cooks go to bed," Orik finished walking away towards the kitchen. The girl followed him deep in planning for how to get the twins.

* * *

well this is where i stop because i'm maen like that hehehehe ok love you hope you liked it ans every one who reveiws gets a big cookie so reveiw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	7. Food Weapons and Planing Payback

well i'm bsck with another instalment of this crazed story!

first thank you the reader who reviewed last chapter Sugar-high pixe, Elevanya, and ihateseverussnape it means alot

well i don't want to keep you with any more of my ramboling so enjoy!!

* * *

The kitchens the Orik led us to, were so filled with busy staff that Orik had us wait out side for fear that the head cook might have us severely maimed or even killed.

"So," Eragon started not sure where to begin with the strange and pretty girls.

"What happens when the sun blows up," Katie asked picking at a thread on her breaches

"It gets very warm," Beth answered gleefully. "Me like warm"

"And then we end up like fish sticks," colleen pointing out the problems in Beth's happiness

"**PEOPLE STICKS**," Fay yelled.

"Those sound yummy," Beth laughed. Eragon backed away from the girl at this not sure what to think anymore.

"Wonder when Orik will get back with the food?" Katie asked.

We could always eat Eragon in the mean time," Beth offered eyeing the poor boy hungrily

"No he's to skinny, Fay snorted "there isn't enough meat to go around,"

"Now Murtag …" Colleen started before being smacked by Beth.

"Colleen!!!"

"It's a joke sweetie we don't eat people," Colleen snorted laughing at Eragon's horror.

"Often" Beth whispered in colleen's ear. They both laughed aloud at the though and being vampires it was the truth.

"Great, just promise not to eat me," Eragon asked getting scared for his life.

"We won't," colleen promised cheerfully.

"Hey speak for your self," Beth hissed in colleen's ear. Colleen elbowed her back before hissing, "We're trying to make a good impression loser."

"Nice sword, Eragon" Fay commented trying to change the subject but failing.

"Uuaaaa… thank you," Eragon answered awkwardly not sure what to say next before coming up with, "Katie you have an odd name where is it from."

The girls all burst in to laughter at that comment before Katie replied, "my name is not Weird it's very pretty," before smacking Eragon and producing more laughter from her friends.

The party lapsed in to uneasy silence, Eragon completely at a lost about the girls who lounged near him and those girls not sure what would get them kicked out of Farthen Dur or worse killed for being different. Finally, after what seamed like forever Orik came out carrying a tray with plates of simple lamb and vegetable stew. They all ate their fill of it to fill the time.

**The dragons' point of view**

"Don't worry little one, the dragon hold is quite comfortable and it's just the two of us." Bane said smoothing over Saphira's nervous chatter before unfurling his great white wings and pushed off the ground gaining height with every stroke of them after that.

"What of the girls," Saphira asked following Him up to the hold "What are they like."

"Fay is my rider; I love and will protect her with all my heart, my soul and my life," Bane told her truthfully, "that is all you need to know."

"Hhaaaa," gasped Saphira when they reached the top. You could fit over a hundred dragons up here."

"As once they did back in the riders' heyday and maybe once more after we defeat the tyrant that rules this land bane answered, "when our kind take back there rightful place in this land."

"Do you think we will be able to," Saphira piped in hopefully

"There are no more Dragons left here because of Galbatorix. I believe that we must avenge what happened to our kin those many years ago. Or course this is talk for another time now we must find you a cave to your liking so that you and Eragon can settle in."

"Yes, was the only answer that bane heard in his mind, as Saphira took off to explore the cave. After searching many a cave and getting really annoyed that, she couldn't have colleen's cave she settled on a mid size cave close to Beth's.

"These cave are perfect," Saphira exclaimed after officially claiming her cave they're just built for dragons.

"The caves remind me of home but without the sea below it can never be I miss the sea more then anything else"

Soon after, a bunch of dwarves arrived carrying a pair of whole bucks for bane and Saphira's dinner. The dwarves left them to finish eating their dinner which the dragon found much more pleasant then their human counterparts.

**Human point of view**

"More Please," Bath demanded happily, as she thrust her already empty back at the astonished Dwarf who had handed it to her, filled to the brim, just seconds before.

"Ok," was all, the dwarf said, before rushing away.

"What?" Beth said noticing the scared looks on Eragon and Orik's faces for the first time.

"You know Beth you shouldn't eat that much more," Colleen started finishing off her fifth plate stew and setting the plate aside. "Or you'll become bloated and slow and we'll have to leave you in the caves when we go to train tomorrow."

"Colleen I hate to point it out to you," Beth interjected, "but we don't have weapons yet."

"So we'll go get them," Colleen countered.

"ORIK!!!," Fay yelled.

"What I'm right here you don't have to yell," Orik yelled back as he stood up to his full height of three and a half feet. "What do you need?"

"Where is the armory?"

"Do you wish to go there?"

"Yes"

"Hey can you take me to the dragon hold first I really need to get some sleep before I fall over," Eragon asked looking like all he wanted to do was be as far away from the four of us as possible.

"Good idea you should get settled in there to," Fay agreed.

"So to the dragon hold and then the armory"

"Sounds good to me"

"So we should defiantly get the twins to do pointless tasks for us" Fay started as the girls waited.

"Like fetch books and do random magic tricks for our entertainment," Katie added as they walked up the stairs to the dragon hold a few steps behind Orik and Eragon.

"How are we supposed to get them to do this stuff for us? We need to be realistic here loves" Fay pointed out

"We pretend to want to join their little magic group whatever it's called," Colleen laughed.

"Yes, and then we don't," Fay laughed back

"Fay we have to freak them out about us being twins to," Beth piped in.

"That's good to but we need something bigger," Colleen started "we need so big it will scare the pants off their great, great to the 30th power grand father."

"But what,"

"We must get inside their heads and use their worst nightmares against them"

"We have to watch them and hopefully we have the time."

"Use secrets no one, not even the other twin, knows against them"

"Quiet we are nearing the top let try to act sane."

"SANE," Beth yelled "What is this sane you speak of."

"OOOOOOOOOOO" Colleen sang in testament to what Beth had just said. "What do you do with a drunken sailor?"

"What do you do with a drunken sailor?

What do you do with a drunken sailor?

Earlie in the mornin'

Wo Ho Up she rises,

Wo ho up she rises,

Wo ho up she rises,

Earlie in the mornin'

Put him in the longboat till he's sober,

Put him in the longboat till he's sober,

Put him in the longboat till he's sober,

Earlie in the mornin'

Wo Ho Up she rises,

Wo ho up she rises,

Wo ho up she rises,

Earlie in the mornin'

Throw him in the bilge and make him drink it,

Throw him in the bilge and make him drink it,

Throw him in the bilge and make him drink it,

Earlie in the mornin'

Wo Ho Up she rises,

Wo ho up she rises,

Wo ho up she rises,

Earlie in the mornin'

Shave his belly with a rusty razor,

Shave his belly with a rusty razor,

Shave his belly with a rusty razor,

Earlie in the mornin'

Wo Ho Up she rises,

Wo ho up she rises,

Wo ho up she rises,

Earlie in the mornin'

Put him in the cabin with the captain's daughter,

Put him in the cabin with the captain's daughter,

Put him in the cabin with the captain's daughter,

Earlie in the mornin'

Wo Ho Up she rises,

Wo ho up she rises,

Wo ho up she rises,

Earlie in the mornin'

Have you seen the captain's daughter?

Have you seen the captain's daughter?

Have you seen the captain's daughter?

Earlie in the mornin'

Wo Ho Up she rises,

Wo ho up she rises,

Wo ho up she rises,

Earlie in the mornin'

That's what you do with a drunken sailor,

That's what you do with a drunken sailor,

That's what you do with a drunken sailor,

Earlie in the mornin'"

"Are you three drunk?" Orik asked astonished Orik asked astonished because he had never seen any of then touch any alcohol.

"No we just like drinking song," Colleen answered running past him to her cave to get something as Bane and Saphira flew down from the cave to greet their riders.

"How are you Bane?" Fay asked

"_I am well, Saphira is settling in nicely," _Bane answered in her mind.

"_Good we're going to the armory we will be back soon. I love you Bane"_

"_And I you little one" _

"Well let's leave Eragon and Saphira alone," colleen started, "and go get ready for WAR!"

"Good enough for me." The way to the armory was long and twisting. By the end, none of the girls could remember how to get back to the dragon hold if their lives depended on it not that Beth or Colleen couldn't end up in china even when they knew what they were doing.

"Are we there yet?" Katie asked

"No," Orik answered flatly without glancing back at the girls.

Katie only waited a few seconds before asking again, "Are we there yet?"

"Why yes we are"

"Really," colleen asked, "Wow I expected this to have gone on for a very long time."

"Well let's see if we can find any thing worth killing with," Fay snorted as she walked past Orik holding the door open for them into the room full of dismal, poorly crafted weapons that look like they would soon break.

* * *

well I feal like leaving you here and I need to finish some weapon decriptions so the weapons will be next chapter

also next chapter the twin's torture begins and dun dun dun Arya sightings runs in terror

hope you like and will tune in for that which is promosed above bye now and review or i'll hunt you down and sick my flying walffels of doom on you throws head back MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HACKING COUGH


	8. A Hole in the Wall andArya

**hi every one I'm back and just in time of chrismas woot hope all of your holidays were filled or will be filled with joy and enjoy chapter 8 which just happens to be the longest chapter so far i still don't own any thing but myself Katie belongs to sugar-high pixe,beth belongs to Elevanya and Fay belongs to Elevanya's twin sister

* * *

A Hole in the Wall, Arya, and a set of Twins**

"Well this one won't help any," Fay stated as she tested the fifth unusable sword for flex and strength she knew the steel was strong for sure but too brittle and had a very high chance of breaking and in battle that would be the doom of its wielder.

"Why is to so dark in hear,"

"FUCK" Colleen yelled and the sword she was testing yielded to be in the same boat as Fay's only worse it shattered, spewing steel shards into her arms and torso "SHIT, **SHIT**!!!!"

"Good job Colleen you did so well," Beth laughed as she dug through a box of bracers for ones that would fit her child sized wrists so far they all seamed to be made for giant burly men.

"Titim gan éirí ort," colleen hissed as she pulled a particularly large and jagged shard out of the area dangerously close to her liver.

"I LOVE YOU TOO!" Beth screamed back as she pulled an old cardboard box with **ACNE** on the side towards her. "UW whats in here"

"No idea," Colleen growled as she pulled the last bit of sword from between two of her ribs bringing some lung tissue with it, "Shit"

"DUDES LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!" Katie screamed manically, before starting to shoot arrows off a cross bow as if it were a machine gun.

Screams of "KATIE,"

"FUCK!"

"SHIT!"

"BITCH!"

"GO N-ITHE AN CAT THú IS GO N-ITHE AN DIABHAL AN CAT!" and

"CRAZY!"

"LOSER!"were heard as all the ocupants of the room dove for cover from the bearage of sharp pointy arrows.

"Hey we're not immortle as you might think," beth yelded from under a table near the boxes she was rumging through.

"We're not on a battlefield katie" colleen chided snaching the crossbow from her friend, "But when we are on one do that…at the enemy"

"Fine," Katie sighed rolling her eyes and trying to snach her crossbow back from Colleen who gave it back but promply stole all the pretty dark metalic pink arrows from her to prevent her from killing anyone

"GUYS," beth yelled from her spot on the floor "look there's honey in here."

"WHAT?" Fay snorted

"Honey," Beth answered holding up a bottle of tranlusent golden liquid.

"Read the label dear," Colleen told them apsent mindedly as she fiddled with a dusty, dirty bow from a large pile in the corner.

"Never empting Jar of magik honey. Warning: do not eat for it will cause the stomach to rupture from eating too much," Beth read, "weird wonder what it tastes like?"

"We should test it on some one else before eating that," Fay snorted testing out one of the bows in the large pile.

"OK"

"Sounds like a plan to me," Colleen said, as she threw her bow in to a small pile of useable knives near the door and joined Beth in the dig for armor that would fit them.

"So now what?"

"No idea smart one"

Meanwhile, even though this has nothing to do with the story that I'm am presently telling you, far away, near the very center of Galbatorix's mighty empire, right on the outskirts of his capital, Urû'baen, in the left part of a sheep field to be exact, two Irish youths fell out of the sky and hit the ground. Hard…Vary…vary…vary…hard. Also, the price of sheep wool in the high Andes increased by 15 in two minutes but that is beside the point. The startled sheep scattered causing quite a ruckus. Of course, no one else was around to hear or see the falling boys as they were gathering crops across the farm. One a blonde-haired boy I had learned by probing his dazed mind was named Nathaniel landed on his butt. The other was not so lucky landed on his head and was knocked out cold. He was too far in him self for me to learn his name. Anyways, we will come back to them after a while if I feel like it!

Any ways back to the girls and their weapons dilemma.

"We should keep the honey," Fay stated kicking it in to the pile with Colleen's bow.

"Dwa," Colleen answered as she searched the boxes for random things, "who knows what kind of trouble an idiot could get in to with his hands on it"

"We know to keep it away from you them," Fay retorted.

"Do you really want a Stiletto through your heart… because that what I'm hearing over here," Colleen threatened her shaking a needle thin turquoise steal blade in Fay's general direction

"Pretty knife," Katie squealed trying to pry the knife from colleen's grasp.

"Mine get your own," Colleen yelled pulling away

"Bitch"

"Finder's Keepers"

"Fine"

"I'll find you a pretty knife for your very own how does that sound"

"I love you"

"I know"

"Dudes, there's a hole in the wall!" Beth yelled pointing to her discovery.

"Cool!"

"Actually it's a passage way," colleen pointed out. Beth promptly smacked her hard enough to bash a normal person's skull in. "Just pointing it out"

"So who want to go down the creepy tunnel to a place worse then hell first?" Fay asked to get her friends off each other's throats. God vampires are such high maintenance she thought as she pushed Colleen down the tunnel in front of her "let's go hurry up"

"Why are in such a hurry to get down this tunnel," Colleen demanded as Fay pushed her farther in. "And why am I going first"

"Because you will heal the fastest if there's a trap in the wall meant to kill and you got in to a fight with Bethey," Fay

"Beth still has the faster healing rate,"

"And you have better reflexes"

"True," colleen said as she dodged an arrow coming out of the now widening passage way. Watch those I think their poisoned.

"Smells like rotten lily of the valley to me," Katie laughed as after catching one of the arrows coming out of the wall

No it's defiantly rotten hemlock," Beth argued smell the arrow that she had just caught from the same place.

"Well it doesn't matter what it is just that it doesn't kill you" Colleen yelled and she handed a lit torch to both Katie and Fay.

"Where in the name of Hrothgar are you going," Orik roared as he followed them down the tunnel walking to fast to even notice the arrows flying out of the walls all around him

"Taking a walk down the creepy tunnel of doom," Katie screeched before throwing back her head in manic laughter.

"Would you care to grace us with your presence?" colleen asked offering a torch and her best smile to Orik. "It would be very helpful to have any extra set of hand down here since we really don't have any idea where we're going."

"Aye that would be for the best," Orik agreed after a moment of indecision.

"We let's go so we can get back before someone misses use," Fay stated starting again down the dark tunnel. That group walked on in silence for some time before coming to a large object that Beth identified as a door after running in to it a total of five times.

"Good job Beth," Colleen laughed as she pulled her friend back from hitting the door the last time. Now help me open this," the two vampires threw their weight against the door tearing it for its rusted hinges. "We're in,"

"But where that is, is anyone guess"

"It a vault"

"There's a pile of junk in the middle,"

"No it a pile of weapons Beth,"

"Well let's go and see what those vampires are getting themselves into," Fay sighed to the other two still standing on the passageway side of the downed door and stepped in the airy room that it guarded.

"What is this vampire that Fay keeps referring to?" Orik asked Katie

"A monster beyond your imagining," Katie replied before throwing up another one of her manic laughs and shifting to a dragon joined her friends in the vault leaving Orik alone with his thoughts. _So this is the legendary vault of Norian, I always thought that it would be bigger, o well the girls probably don't give a damn about old dwarvin legends anyways. _He shrugged his shoulders before lifting his torch so he could see into vault.

The girls on the other hand were having a field day with the pile of weapons in the center of the room.

"Look at this one," Beth shouted holding up a barbed blade. "You could take this fishing!"

"Dude look at this one," Fay breathed, holding up a rose engraved with a topaz crystal carved like a rose held in the pommel.

"Sweat you should keep it," colleen smiled holding up a large dagger. "Hey Katie what do you think of this one as a replacement?"

"I love it," Katie exclaimed after examining the curved blade and rose Quartz handle.

After much, more searching Colleen and Beth both found swords that suited them. The latter also found a bow and a nifty long and Fay found an axe and quarter staff and bow to go along with her sword. Once they knew they would find nothing more of interest they decided make their way back to the dragon hold for the night.

"So what do you guys think about hitting the practice field tomorrow morning?" Katie asked. "I want to try out my crossbow."

"Afternoon," Colleen corrected her.

"WHAT?"  
"Afternoon," Beth repeated "Colleen and I won't be up in the morning

"Dude you know we're not morning people," Fay laughed bonking Katie on the head.

"You know we would only drag our corpses out of bed if the dwarf king what's his name…"Colleen started.

"Hrothgar," Orik

"Hrothgar yes thank you, I will try not to forget that" colleen said bowing to him. "Anyways it will still take a royal summons to get us out of bed… but you should know this by now.

"Dua, I know you three are zombies"

"Why do you four refer to yourselves as dead bodies?" Orik asked

"Because we're vampires, that's what we are," Beth answered.

"Well Colleen and Beth are, Fay and I just do it for the humor," Katie giggled.

"So what is this vampire you speak of?" Orik just had to know.

"Your worst nightmare," Beth said smiling, revealing a mouth full of razor sharp teeth before heading through the hole in the wall to the armory that they had came from. After deciding that some armor that would do for now and started to hall their finds back up to the Dragon hold.

"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerve, Everybody's nerve, everybody's nerve, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerve and this is how it goes. I knooo…"

"SHUT UP," Orik roared. "

"Fine, have it your way,"

"Achuuu" Colleen sneezed violently failing backwards

"Nice colleen,"

"**ACHUUUUUUUUUUUU!"**

"Bless you," Beth said helping her up, which was only good till Colleen sneezed again.

"ACHUUUU, ACHUUUUUU, ACHUUUUUU, ACHUUUUU, ACHUUUU"

"God what's wrong with you today," Fay laughed at her fallen friend,"

"I'm allergic…ACHUU…to…ACHUUU…Mary sues…ACHUUU" Colleen answered pointing to the figures striding towards them.

"Hello I am Arya is there something wrong with you friend," said the tall dark haired she-elf herself looking very arrogant. Colleen and Beth both gave her their best "vampire smiles" before colleen was racked by another round of sneezes.

"She fine I just a dust slash sue allergy she be fine," Fay snorted.

"And you are?"

"Fay the Sith Lord in Waitingand rider of the white dragon Avaibane,"

"You're the other dragon rider I keep hearing about!"

"Yes she is, and I am Beth, aka your worst nightmare"

"I am not scared of human like you," Arya laughed

"Well them you're an idiot…ACHUUU" Colleen snorted. "Anyway I am Colleen, The Raven Knight and Bringer of Chaos...

"…And I am Katie, baby dragon shaped bar of soap to hot guy everywhere."

"KATIE!"

"What you know I've always wanted to be some sexy boy's way to get clean." The four of them laughed long and hard leaving Arya slightly annoyed and Orik just rolling his eyes thinking that the girls were acting like a bunch of drunken dwarves.

"I am Orik by the way lady" Orik said to Arya to break the silence that followed. "May I personally welcome you back to Farthen Dur,"

"Thank you, you are very kind," Arya answered back. "Well I shall not dare keep you any longer at this late hour, good night to you. By the way dragon rider I shall see on the practice field tomorrow…for I claim your tests."

'Sounds good to me," Fay answered totally relaxed.

"Be ready rider it will not be easy," Arya smirked before turning on her heal and striding away.

"Bitch," Beth hissed at Arya's receding back.

"Beth," Katie exclaimed. "Guys I think that we should replace our cursing with marshmallow."

"How about you do that and the rest of us will keep on cursing." Colleen snorted shifting her pack of stuff from the armory. "So Orik which way is the dragon hold?"

"I think that we should give the twin annoying nicknames," Fay said quickly.

"One has to be Billy-Bob-Joe-Bob-Joe-Bob-Billy-Joe-Bob-billy-joe-joe-bob-billy-billy-SNAPE!" Colleen suggested

"Snake where," Katie yelled jumping up and down looking for it.

"That's part of the name stupid,"

"And it was Snape not snake loser"

"O I get it and we should call the other?"

"How about mittagessen," Beth asked happily"

"Sounds like a plan to me but hoe are we going to tell them apart," colleen asked.

"How about we paint the number 1 on the forehead of Billy-Bob-Snape and a number 2 on Mittagessen's," Fay pointed out.

"Good idea and use oil paint so it will take awhile to come off,"

"Sounds like a plan now let's get some sleep we've got a big day ahead of us," Katie stated before saying good night to Orik and flying up to her cave.

Good night Orik thank you for guiding us," Colleen said as he walked away for the night.

"Night to you too"

"I'm going to try to get some of the dirt and grime off this bow later," colleen told her friends before going to her own cave for the night.

"Good night Beth"

"Good night Fay"

"Dear do try to get some sleep"

"I will"

* * *

well this is where i'm leaving off hope you all enjoyed it review

Titim gan éirí ort, means may you fall with out rising and GO N-ITHE AN CAT THú IS GO N-ITHE AN DIABHAL AN CAT! means may you be eaten by the cat and may the cat be eaten by the devil in irish gaelic. mittagessen is lunch in german yea deutsch!!!! it's a very hard language made harder by a teacher that is crazy!!!!

colleen sneezes when within 20 feet of Arya

the bar of soap thing is pure katie as in she really wants to be sone guys bar of soap I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH!!!!!!!!!!! it was all her really.

what do you think of the two guy does anyone want me to make them a part of the story give me feed back in a REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thank lovies


	9. Katie's Dream

_ROAR!! I'm back my duckies with a new installment of crazyness!!_

_this chapter was cowritten by the lovely sugar high pixe she came up with the idea in the airport coming home from SC and i just had to put it in on threat of death of course._

_i know it's on the short but then again the idea isn't really part of the story so enjoy it any ways lovies!!_

                 IN WHICH KATIE TAKES OVER AND RULES ALLL! ALLL! FEAR MORTALS! FEAR ME! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAh    Or Katie gets a burrito among other things

* * *

Katie was awake. This was not good, annoying people took a lot of energy and she couldn't sleep. This made her very unhappy for how would she be able to scare the twin's muffin less if she was sleep deprived. She got up off the cave ledge she promptly kick a rather large and oddly shaped rock near her feet towards the hole in the wall that was the entrance to her humble and slightly cramped abode in the dragon hold.

"Stupid rocks you shall fear me! Fear me! Fear me and cower at my presence."

The rocks of course did not. And Katie was left mumbling to herself. This was a bad thing, but her keeper had not gotten his raise and quit.

Katie, now unattended and very hyper skipped outside and right over the cliff.

No just kidding.

She was actually kicking at the rocks inside her cave when a blue stone shimmered in the light; it looked like a doughnut, a very moldy, non circular doughnut that was more like a danish.

"Yumm", she smiled touching the pretty more danish then moldy doughnut/ stone that was a pretty blue color.

The ground shook, the heavens opened up, the underworld was able to skate. For it had happened.

"Ahahaha I rule yes! You shall all bow to me. All shall fear me!" She smiled, "YOU MORTAL!"

Colleen who had appeared out of a poof of sparks looked up at the slightly demonic floating Katie, "Yeah? What do you want?"

"Fetch me a burrito!"

"But you hate Mexican food! Why do you want a burrito?"

"Cause its funny." Katie smiled evilly, "Now go forward and fetch me it!"

"Fine", Colleen sighed snapping her fingers and a burrito appeared. A nice crispy burrito containing many freshly cooked meat and vegetables.

"See crispy burrito" Colleen smiled before gulping it down.

MUNCH! MUNCH! MUNCH!

"Yum."

"You ate my burrito." Katie growled.

"Yours I thought it was for me,"

"NO, MORTAL," Katie yelled at the top of her lungs.

"Mortal where!!" Colleen yelled spinning in a circle trying to find it. "ILOVEMORTALSTHEY'RESOOOOOMUCHFUNTOPLAYWITHANDTHEIR…hey  
I don't see any mortals around here other then you."

"I was talking to you idiot"

"I'm a vampire who should take offence to that last comment but I'll let it slide this once."

"YOU STILL ATE MY BURRITO"

"Yeah so, I made it. I eat it."

"NOW YOU WILL PAY!"

"Sorry flat broke; I'll catch you in a week!" Colleen sighed turning.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU WILL Bend TO THE POWER OF THE DOUGHNUT/ DANISH…ROCK!"

"No."



Katie continued to glow with power, and scrunched her nose, letting her power go all over the land. Soon all things rock rose up against the kingdom. The people ran in terror. What could cause such horror?  
"AHAHAAAHAHAH! SEE HOW THEY PAY FOR YOUR FOOLISH INSOLENCE! SEE HOW THEY RUN IN TERROR!'

"Nice going Colleen." Beth scoffed smacking her over the head when she got to close during her chores to where Beth was chained; "now I have to be a pet for my rock."

"That's ironic." Fay muttered, scrubbing Katie's nails.

"True it is, but still she hates Mexican food who was I to know she wanted to eat it"

"And it's cold to," Beth yelled at colleen's back as she swept the dirt away, "I'm FREEEEEZING!! Do you hear me?"

"That was my plan all along for you to be chained, freezing, and stuck wearing a poufy pink ball gown with Katie as the overlord of the rocks."

"Wait you wanted this all along," Katie chimed in confusion.

"I am disinclined to give a riposte to such an obtuse query," colleen shot back bored at the sweeping she was forced to do.

"What where did you learn all those big words?"

"When do you think?" colleen spat before turning on her heal and heading out the door

"Where do you think you're going," Katie yelled at her back.

"To clean the kitchen," colleen mumbled before slamming the door to the great hall shut…

Sometime later after Katie found Colleen and forced her to clean all the floors with a fork she sat down in her easy chair, in bright pink floral that would put a Lily Pulitzer shop to shame of course to have a nice meal and force feed her Beth and colleen pork chops. It would be a lovely night, she thought. Eragon sat loyally at her side allowing Katie to pet him. "Perhaps one day you can sit next to me like Eragon, who is my faithful pet." She said to the two girls cleaning the room while she ate. She then reached out to pet colleen's short mop of hair while she was cleaning the floor of the great, very pink stone room they were in

'Eww" Colleen muttered, "I don't want your greasy hands on me. In fact I won't stand for it!"

Katie only smirked, until colleen stabbed her with a fork.

"Oh my poor heart, the fork be my weakness!"

Katie died, everyone was happy, except Debbie the fruit cake who had wanted her own personal revenge.

"We shall meet again, ohh smelly one." Debbie vowed at Katie's death bed.

Katie felt her life start to fade but as she thought she was taking her final breath something hit her in the head. Very hard



Beth startled herself awake shuddering, "OMG!"

Fay awakened to Beth's frantic telepathic message, which unfortunately, was scrambled like an egg. "Why is a fruit cake named Debbie after Katie?"

So Beth only saw the horrible sight of Katie ruling and the rock creatures of dooooooom, which she promptly shoved into her subconscious far in to her subconscious that she would never find it nor would any of the voices that wanted to kill her she knew what they would use it for.

"BETH!!" Fay yelled in her ear.

"WHAT!!" Beth yelled back.

"Are you ok I heard you screaming,"

"It was just a scary dream Katie took over the world"

"Hey did you hear," Colleen panted as she entered Beth's cave

"No we haven't"

"Eragon is planning to take over the world"

"Excuse me," Beth said automatically picking up a Fork and walking out of the cave"

"Where are you going" Fay asked

"To kill Eragon"

"KATIE WAKE UP!!" Colleen yelled splashing cold water. "We've got to go before everyone gets mad that were late Beth is even up before you were"

"What?"

"Get up!!" Colleen yelled yanking Katie to her feet. "We were summoned by king Hrothgar we have to go now!!"

"Fine fine whatever" Katie mumbled letting herself be dragged away before recounting the crazy dream she had just had.

* * *

well that it next chapter well you'll just have to see what i come up with


	10. LOST GOD HELP US!

i'm back i know its short but it's the best i can do enjoy!!

* * *

"WAITT!!!!" Fay scream digging in her heals as she came to a stop at a random but large landing of the endless stair case.

"What?!?!" Beth growled smacking in to the back of her twin.

"Where's Colleen?"

"Getting Katie"

"Great they'll never get here"

"Sure they will"

"Colleen's internal GPS is down didn't you here"

"What you don't think the tow of them can walk down

"Really Ladies King Hrothgar is very impatient, he won't be happy if you late," Orik reminded them

_They are coming, Bane_ thought calmly. _Give them just a little more time._

"_O sure do you know how lost those two can get" Fay thought bitterly _

"_They can't get too lost… can they we'll have some people keep an eye out for them look. Right now we have an audience to get to._

"_Your right Bane" _Fay sighed_ "_ok Orik take us to the king and have some of the town's folk look for them please."

"Very well let us go before Hrothgar loses his temper."

"FOUND HER!" Colleen yelled and she sprinted ahead of Katie before smacking in to a marble, column knocking it over.

"Really cuz that looks a little stony even for Beth," Katie snorted pulling up short of hitting her friend.

"No really I think I figured that out WHEN I HIT IT!!" Colleen yelled picking herself off the rubble.

"LOOK THERE BANE'S TAIL" Katie yelled running down the hall colleen hot on her heals

"OVER THERE"

"THIS WAY"

The two friend race after what they were heading

"WAIT WE WERE CHACING THIS," Colleen panted holding up a white snake.

"Great now what"

"Where are we?"

"Well were defiantly late."

"You're always late so what else is new…"

"I am not!!"

"You've been on time what once…Any ways WHERE are we"

"How am I supposed to know?"

"Well…" colleen started looking around the passageways that surrounded them "which way now."

"I don't know," Katie murmured after covering her eyes and swinging her arm around.

"Great were lost on a different planet and all you can think of to find our way is to play a game of **E**-NE-MENE-MINEY-_**MO**_!"

"You got any better ideas bitch"

"O you haven't seen anything yet"

"Really because the scene you're making belongs in a Shakespearean tragedy"

"I am not making a scene"

"Yes you are"

"I am not"

"Yes…you…are"

"Well you mother was a rutabaga"

"Well your mother was a pineapple"

"Soooooo, your mother smells or roofing tar and bathed in the blood of young mammals!!!!!"

"Well you smell like sauerkraut and even sourer piss that sat really close to a swamp!"

"Well you breath smells worse than both the dragons, the fire swamp, and a sunk sprayed, garlic stuffed, hyena carcass that was left on the savanna to long!"

"Wow I didn't know you had the mental capacity for such a long thought"

"I didn't know you had the ability _to_ think"

"Wow that original… come to think of it you couldn't think of something original if it jumped out of the abyss where you brain should be and hit you in the face!"

"Well at least I'm not an overbearing cleaning freak who can't keep her nose for getting bitten off!!"

"Well you short"

"O that where this is headed…"

"_**Excuse me**_," a passing lady piped in, "can you stop making a scene your scaring the children"

"Sure thing mama"

Now what are we going to do," colleen hissed under her

"You're the one with the GPS build in to her brain you find the way then!"

"Yea… I think… wait for it… Nope GPS is still down, genius"

"Ok so when you get that thing working we'll use it, till then were going in this direction." Katie snorted, skipping off in a random direction

"Fine whore" Colleen yelled as she tromped in another. "Your mother was still a rutabaga!!"

"You know you love me!!!!!!"

"Whatever"

* * *

end hope you liked it


End file.
